Mind over Matter

To say, “It’s been a long week” would be the understatement of the century. However, I can’t phrase it in any other way than to say that exact sentence. So, I’ll leave it at that.

Mondays are already a tough pill to swallow, but what had happened on this particular Monday in Boston was the toughest.

This week has been off-balance, uneasy, unsettling. Today couldn’t have come any slower.

I’m a very resilient person. I’m quick to recover and the ease at which I can completely repress memories always amazes me. I’ve gotten so good at it that I often get confused as to whether something actually happened or not. Ironically, I have a fantastic memory (in regards to the things I actually want to remember) I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or not though.

Remembering the past is detrimental to who we become in the future. I’m not saying that you’re supposed to dwell on the past, but to at least be aware and acknowledge what happened and hopefully pick up the pieces and begin to recover. This is how we create history. This is how we learn. This is how we grow.

For me, I could say I was directly affected by the events that occurred on Marathon Monday. My co-workers whom I work with day in and day out were there that day. My co-workers who were there were far more affected than I was. For them, it’s not going to be so easy to just acknowledge what happened and pick up the pieces and recover. For them, it could take weeks, months, years. It’s easy to erase a memory that is not your own. It’s easy to dismiss a tragic event that occurred in history because you weren’t there to watch it happen. It’s hard to forget when you were a witness.

My 1st of 2 back-to-back races is in 2 days. I’ll be running the Rutgers Unite Half Marathon and of course I’m excited, but I feel guilty being excited when there is still so much grief. It feels selfish to be happy right now when other people have been robbed of that emotion this week.

I hope and pray for the best when I run on Sunday. I hope and pray for happiness for those who are still suffering.

2 days and still counting…

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